A Humble Hero.

On Friday night I met another Spaceman. I met Alan Bean last year. This time it was Ken Mattingly. I won't list his NASA history because you'll have a great time looking it up. What I will tell you is that he should have flown Apollo 13. Just 3 days before launch NASA pulled him out of the mission because they feared he had been exposed to chicken pox. A few days later, when the explosion happened in the Command Module, it was Ken who worked for hours in the test-labs, trying everything he could to try and help bring his friends home. When they did finally make it back to Earth (still one of the most incredible achievements of modern science and engineering) the three astronauts were quick to state that they owed their lives to the people of NASA, and especially Ken Mattingly. So, in a lovely Yorkshire hotel, I got to meet this hero. And yet Ken would dispute that word, 'hero.' We heard him say that he could not understand why 130 people had paid good money just to have dinner with him and hear him say a few words. I cannot speak for the other 129, but I can speak for this one. My late Dad worked on the guidance systems of the Blue Streak rocket, in the early 1960's. I remember him being away for 6 weeks when he went out to Woomera, Australia, for the tests on the rocket. When he completed 25 years service with EMI Electronics, his only employer, once he had come out of the Navy, they gave him a beautiful model of the Blue Streak. He did not talk about that this side of his work because, what started out as a life devoted to radar, soon became a life of Defense contracts, work at secret locations and the Official Secrets Act. The project that began as a missile, became a launcher and then failed completely, was shelved. Dad loved engineering and would marvel at the sheer audacity of men going into Space. He would talk about guidance systems and computers way before the words became common language. He would watch the BBC broadcasts of the Moon landings avidly, encouraging me to sit with him. At 13 years of age, I would ask question after question and he would patiently explain. So the names of those brave pioneers are almost part of my DNA. Ken Mattingly is one of those names. It was an honour to meet this small, humble man. It was a pleasure to listen to him speak. It was amazing to sit in a hushed bar, after dinner, just a few of us, and listen to him marvel at why people would come, would want to meet him. He had said earlier "If anyone wants to come and ask me about space travel, I'll keep you up all night." Ken Mattingly is a hero to me. He makes me remember happy times with my Dad. Meeting him and Alan Bean has made me determined to meet more of these adventurers. These humble, quiet men. These heroes.

Perfection

The warm evening had been one of those perfect, early Summer evenings. The Thames River cruiser had picked us up from The Compleat Angler Hotel, Marlow and was heading towards Henley-On-Thames, before returning to Marlow. On board, the DJ was working his way through my playlist, the bar was doing a roaring trade and the food had been wonderful. At the back of the boat was the place to be. My brothers, my mates, my old band-mates were all gathered, swapping stories from the old days and laughing. Just laughing. I could see my Mum, dancing with my oldest friend. She looked so happy. As I was laughing with my brother at another old gig-story, my ear picked out the intro to "A Love Of Your Own" by The Average White Band. Which meant I had 5 minutes. Five minutes. I drained my pint and put my arm around Marty's neck, pulling him towards me and kissing him on the cheek. He looked at me and winked. I went inside, snaking my way across the dance-floor between the 2 or 3 couples dancing closely to Hamish Stuart's voice. I reached the bar, at the far end of the deck, and tapped a girl on the shoulder. She was talking to her sister. She turned and beamed at me. "It's time." I said. She smiled even wider. I held out my hand and she gripped it, tightly. We walked back towards the dance-floor as the DJ started to talk over the final chords of the AWB. "Ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome your bride & groom." There was a roar, a few whoops, and applause. I could see my brothers and my mates crowd through from the back of the boat. Benny Benjamin was from Mobile, Alabama. His family were poor but he found his way to Detroit where his skills as a drummer were perfect for Berry Gordy and his fledgling Motown label. In 1965, Benny was at work, rehearsing a new song, written by his friend, Smokey. It was a slow ballad and Benny's signature intro was too much for the song. He tried several combinations but couldn't find an intro he liked. They broke for a cigarette. Benny went outside, onto the street. He finished his cigarette, twisting his shoe on the butt, and went back up the steps. "Let's go for a take." said Smokey. James Jamerson settled onto his chair, beside Benny, his bass guitar on his legs. Smokey mouthed the count, 1, 2, 3....... And Benny played the best three strokes of his life. As the third stroke gloriously greeted the fourth, I stepped onto the dance-floor, held my new wife close, and began to dance. Thirty five years had passed since Benny had just followd Smokey's count. A few hours had passed since we had said "I do." Fourteen years later, I can still remember those three drum-strokes, the pounding of my heart in my ear, and the gleaming, beaming smile of the beautiful woman in front of me. I am truly blessed.

A Boy In A Man's Body.

Danny Kirwan joined Fleetwood Mac in 1968, shortly after his 18th birthday. Peter Green's band were so hot that they outsold The Beatles and The Stones in 1969. Then Greeny left. Then Jeremy Spencer walked out of an American hotel, never to be seen again (until he popped up, a few years ago, on a documentary about Greeny), leaving Danny to run the ship. He was a kid. The 2 albums his band recorded before firing him are amongst my favourite albums of all time. They are the bridge between Peter Green's blues band, led by the best blues player these isles have ever produced, and the band of globe-striding Rumours fame. Lyrical, melodic, rocky and packed with great playing. Danny was one of the most unique guitarists I have ever heard. One minute sounding like he wished he was auditioning for the Shadows and the next channeling his former boss and mentor, Peter Green. His songs are wistful and sad, but also joyous. His voice is clear and perfect for the harmonies with Christine McVie. The band fired him when his drinking made him so unreliable that he was missing sessions. A short solo career fizzled into obscurity. He ended up living on the streets. Mick Fleetwood tells a sad story in his book about the band being at some posh London hotel, at the height of their Rumours period, and Danny appearing at Mick's elbow, at breakfast. Mick fed him and persuaded him to come to the show that night, at Wembley. When it was time for the bus to leave for the gig, Danny didn't show up. His mental health deteriorated and the homeless period of his life lasted more than 20 years. Nothing has been heard from him for many years, though his family say he is healthy and content. Danny Kirwan will never feature on any list of great British guitarists, except mine. I adore his playing, can pick him out a mile away and still play those albums, 40+ years on. I love a guitarist whose solos I can 'sing'. No flash, technique-laden showing off, here. Just bluesy, melodic, memorable playing that has made me smile for more than 2/3 of my life. Danny was a baby, a kid, when he joined Fleetwood Mac, one of the biggest bands on the planet. Life can be cruel.

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On Cloud Nine

This painting is on the wall in our house. My wife bought it for me for our 10th wedding anniversary. It shows the 3rd and 4th men to walk on the Moon, Pete Conrad on the left, and Alan Bean on the right. It depicts a moment of reflection. The artist wrote, "As I touched Pete's shoulder I thought, can all the people we know, all the people we love, who we've seen on TV or read about in newspapers, all be up there on that tiny blue and white marble? Earth is small but so lovely. It is easily the most beautiful object we could see from the Moon. It was a wondrous moment." So, as you've guessed, the picture was painted by Alan Bean. I recently found out that Alan was coming to the UK for a short lecture tour and that there was to be a dinner in his honour. So, yesterday, I set off for a hotel in Yorkshire, to go and have dinner with a man who walked on the Moon. In the back of the car, carefully packed up, was my painting. Before dinner there was a chance to have your picture taken with Alan. I queued up and, when it was my turn, walked forward, holding up the painting. His 81 year old eyes sparkled and he grinned. "Oh, I love that you brought that. Let me look at it. It's one of my best. I love those spots of sunlight, and it makes me think of my closest friend, Pete." All this in his lovely, Texas drawl. We held the picture between us and smiled for the camera. He shook my hand. "Thank you so much for bringing it." I put the painting back in my room and went down for dinner. Alan talked for 10 minutes before the meal. He was bright and gracious and modest. After dinner we queued again, to get our pictures signed, all 150 of us. When I put mine down in front him he looked up and smiled again. "Hey, that came out great!" he said. I told him I would frame and hang it beside the painting. He nodded and signed the photo. "I so enjoy painting," he said. I told him he was as much a painter as an astronaut. "Thank you, son." We shook hands again. I thought a lot about my Dad, last night. He'd have been 87 by now. He worked on the Blue Streak rocket in 1964. I remember him going to Woomera, Australia for 6 weeks to see the launch. I wished I'd asked him more about it when he was alive. 32 years too late, now. I had a wonderful time, last night. I met some lovely people, including a man who stood on another world. But most of all, I made an old artist very happy to see one of his paintings, and greet it, and it's subject, like an old friend. Now I know why this track has been part of my DNA for the last few weeks. Gentle Moon by Sun Kil Moon.

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I Know What Makes Me Happy

I know what makes me happy. The whistle of the Red Kites in the tree behind my house. Fenway Park, Boston, on a warm, June evening as the Red Sox snatch victory from the yawning jaws of defeat. A glass of Amarone. The Hand & Flowers Pub in Marlow. A tiny hotel in Kerry, Ireland, with it's lake and Magic Mountain. A pint of Tribute Ale in the Custom House, Padstow. All of these things, and a handful more, make me very happy. The thing that makes me happiest though, is music. Live music. Especially when I can share it with the person who makes me happiest, my wife. The other night, at the beautiful Union Chapel in London, we saw one of our very favourite bands, Dawes, from Los Angeles. Part-way through the gig there was a power-cut. After a few moments of confusion the band went off and came back with an acoustic guitar. Taylor, his brother Griffin and keyboard player, Tay Strathairn sat on the edge of the stage and sang, the delicate sound reaching up into the church roof for amplification. So, I count myself very lucky that I know what makes me happy. Not everyone does. They waste their short lives looking for something just out of reach, something that will make them happier than they think they are. When actually, quite often, it is right there, in front of them. They just can't see it. They just don't hear it.
Three nervous Americans sitting on the stage of a London Chapel and singing because it makes them happy made me and my wife very, very happy indeed.

No Way To Be.

I have a Black Dog. It's not a canine. It's a bastard. The last few weeks have been tough. Some of it documented on here, some of it not. I've been good for a few years, now. Some great help, a loving wife and lots of resolute determination have helped me through. But the Dog came back whilst we were helping my friend. I'm not blaming my friend but.... Then, almost imperceptibly, this weekend felt like a turning point in the current overcast conditions. We had just the best day, yesterday. Separately, during the day, then together, last night. Some wonderful food, the best bottle of wine I've ever drunk and some epic Calvados to finish off. During the day I went to a great little exhibition by Morgan Howell, in London. He paints 3D recreations of classic 7” singles. I loved it. It lifted my spirits. I told Morgan on Twitter that it was thrilling, and it really was. After that it was off to The Intercontinental Hotel on Park Lane to meet up with Jan. she was at a Cookery Masterclass with Theo Randall at his gorgeous restaurant in the hotel. It overran so I nursed a £9 glass of wine for an hour and a half. She had a wonderful time and I couldn't have been more pleased. Then it was a cab back to our hotel, shower and change for dinner and a cab back for dinner in Theo's restaurant. It was fantastic, as usual. The bottle of wine, recommended by Jan as one of the ones they had tasted during the day, was sensational. After the main course, Theo came out of the kitchen and headed straight for Jan. He stayed chatting for 10 minutes and it completely made her day. This morning I saw her off on the train to Newport for a couple of days at one of our fave hotels with her oldest friend. I drove home, tired but happy. A lazy afternoon with the Test Match on the tv, the Sunday papers over the floor and copious mugs of tea made for a peaceful, restful day. So? What does it all mean? I have no idea. I've had this Black Dog, sniffing round my ankles, all my life. I'm terrified of dogs and I'm sure there is some deep-rooted significance in that link. So all I can say is that, tonight, I feel a million dollars. I feel on top of the world. Tomorrow? It's another day. There's a fantastic song by The Blue Nile called Everybody Else. It's singer and writer, Paul Buchanan has famously had his own Black Dog. The opening lines are " I woke up good this morning. And nothin' in my way." Sometimes, that's what it feels like. If you 'wake up good' it's fantastic. This song by Teddy Thompson has been my companion during the latest episode. I adore it. It was born out of a divorce but it speaks to my Black Dog and makes him a bit less terrifying.

A journey, in more ways than one.

What a day! I've taken my mate's stuff over to his new digs, in Guildford. You'll remember that he's not been too good, lately (understatement of the century). Anyway, Mrs. B was in London for the day so I borrowed her car and loaded his worldly possessions in the back. We've had them for a couple of months. They've been on our spare bed. I suppose it says a lot when you're 56 years old and your worldly possessions fit on a bed. Someone else's bed, at that. That says just as much. He's lodging with a lady in Merrow, a few miles east of Guildford. It's where I grew up, where he and I met and where he has been the happiest in his life. To him, going back has been like finding a harbour in a storm. A sanctuary. My journey to Guildford from Twyford, Berks, should take an hour. No. 2 1/4 hours, thanks. I had cut across country, to avoid the motorways. So, Ascot, Sunningdale Chobham, past Fairoaks Airport, into Addlestone, Byfleet and then pick up the A3 to Guildford. As I crossed over the M25 at Addlestone it was static and I had a smug smile to myself. 5 minutes later I was stationery and didn't get out of first or second gear for nearly an hour. Finally, crossed over the A3 before getting on it....and it was static. Back round the roundabout, through West Byfleet, Old Woking and Send before picking the A3 back up. Having arranged to be there for 11.30am it was actually 12.45pm when I pulled up. We hugged, unloaded his stuff, had a quick chat, and I had to go. He says he's happier than he was, is looking for work and is settled. I'm pleased. I got back in the car, headed off (a different route, I might add,) and stopped near where I used to live. And sobbed. I need a break from everything that has gone on for the last 3 months. I thought I'd lost him. I realise that I'm exhausted from helping him, from holding it all together when I'm actually falling apart as much as he is. As I drove home, something struck me. Addlestone, West Byfleet, Merrow and Twyford. That's 4 out of the 5 places I've ever lived. Throw in Twickenham, where I was born, and lived until I was 6, and you'd have a full set. I realsied that I'd been yards from almost every front door I've ever lived behind. I don't know why but the realisation cheered me up. I'm pleased my friend is better, however fleeting it may be. But I need a break. I need some time not thinking about Social Services, Council Offices, Mental Health Centres, the Samaritans and the police. I need some time for me. If that sounds selfish, I won't apologise. I know what I need. This wonderful, gorgeous song came on the ipod on the way home. It's Paul Brady's Hawana Way, the story of a trip to Cuba with his friend, Bonnie Raitt. It makes me smile. I turned it way up to 11 and sang my head off.